Simple Thoughts on Denying Yourself, Taking Up Your Cross, and Following Jesus
Sometimes the words of Jesus are easy to read but hard to live. When I look at what he says in Mark 8:34—“If anyone wants to follow me, let them deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow me”—I feel both challenged and encouraged. This isn’t some hidden message for a select few; Jesus says these words out loud to the crowd and his disciples. In other words, it’s for everyone. It’s for me, for you, for anyone who has ever wondered what it means to truly be a follower.
The Three Steps: A Closer Look
Let’s break down what Jesus is really asking here. He gives us three clear steps: deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me. None of them are easy. All of them ask something deep and real from us.
Deny Yourself: Letting Go of Me First
The idea of “denying myself” is so much more than just skipping dessert or giving something up for Lent. At its core, it means putting aside what I want, even if what I want isn’t bad. It’s saying, “God, your way before my way.” Sometimes, this means letting go of what feels comfortable or natural. Other times, it’s trusting that God’s direction—even when it’s confusing or difficult—is better than my own plans.
It’s not just about avoiding obvious mistakes or “bad” things. It’s about choosing not to be the boss of my own life. If I’m honest, this is hard. My own desires, dreams, and ideas about what my life should look like often push to the front. Denying myself means taking my hands off the steering wheel and letting God lead. It’s not a one-time thing, either. It’s a daily decision, a quiet “yes” to God and a “no” to myself, over and over again.
Take Up Your Cross: Embracing the Hard Stuff
Next, Jesus says to “take up your cross.” Back then, the cross wasn’t just a symbol. It was an actual way to die. It was a one-way trip to suffering and loss. When Jesus tells his listeners to pick up their cross, he’s not talking about wearing a necklace. He’s not referring to putting up with little inconveniences either. He’s talking about accepting the hard, even painful, parts of being his follower.
This could mean facing rejection, ridicule, or challenges because I choose to follow Jesus. It will look like standing up for what’s right, even when it costs me something. Sometimes, it’s simply carrying the everyday struggles of life. These include the disappointments and the heartache. They are the things I wish I change but can’t. Jesus doesn’t promise that life will be easy, but he does promise to walk with me through the hard times.
I love how Jesus adds the word “daily” in Luke’s version of the story. This is one of my favorite parts of this call. He’s reminding me that picking up my cross isn’t some one-time dramatic act. It’s a regular, ongoing choice. Every morning, I have the chance to carry my cross alongside him—not alone, but with his help.
Follow Me: Walking the Path with Jesus
The last part is so simple, yet so big—“follow me.” This isn’t about just agreeing with what Jesus said or believing a list of things about him. It’s about taking real steps, living differently, moving in the direction Jesus points. It’s deciding that my life will look more and more like his.
Following Jesus doesn’t mean I’ll always know where I’m going. Sometimes, I wish he’d give me a map or a set of step-by-step instructions for every decision. But “follow me” means trusting him enough to take the next step, even when the whole path isn’t clear. He promises to go ahead of me, but also to stay right beside me. I’m not alone on this journey.
It also means letting Jesus shape my decisions, attitudes, and relationships. When I’m tempted to respond in anger, he calls me to forgiveness. When I’d rather look out for myself, he asks me to serve others. When fear tells me to hold back, he invites me to move forward in faith. Little by little, step by step, following Jesus changes everything about how I live.
This Is for Everyone
One thing that stands out to me in this story is that Jesus talks not only to his closest friends. He also addresses the crowd. He calls everyone within earshot and gives them the same invitation. You don’t need to be especially religious, wise, or “good” to start. The challenge is for every single person.
It’s tempting to think that this level of commitment is for spiritual heroes or people who have it all together. But Jesus invites ordinary people like me, with all my mess, questions, and fears. He knows every part of my story, and he still says, “Come on. Follow me.”
The Challenge and the Hope
Let’s be honest: what Jesus asks isn’t easy. Giving up my rights, carrying uncomfortable burdens, and changing the direction of my life goes against the grain. There are days when I want to hold on tight to what I know. I want to avoid anything that looks like a cross. I want to blaze my own path.
But here’s the hope: Jesus never asks us to do something he hasn’t done first. He denied himself, gave up comfort and power, and chose the cross out of love for us. He walked the hardest road so we wouldn’t have to walk alone. And he gives us the strength to keep going, even when it’s tough.
There’s also a joy on the other side of this challenge. Every time I let go of my own way, I trust Jesus. I discover a freedom and peace I can’t find anywhere else. Carrying my cross isn’t about being miserable—it’s about finding purpose and connection with the one who loves me completely. Following him, even when it’s hard, leads to a deeper and richer life. It becomes more meaningful than anything I create on my own.
A Prayer for the Journey
If you’re like me, you probably feel both inspired and a little intimidated by these words. That’s okay. Jesus isn’t looking for perfection—he’s asking for a willing heart. So here’s a simple prayer for anyone who wants to walk this path:
God, give me the courage to let go of my own way. Help me to accept the hard things that come, trusting that you are with me. Teach me to follow you, step by step, even when the road is difficult. Thank you for leading the way, for loving me, and for never leaving me alone. Amen.
In the end, Jesus’s invitation is both a challenge and a promise. He calls me to deny myself, pick up my cross every day, and follow him—not with fear, but with hope. And as I walk this road, I find that I am never alone. He is always ahead of me. He is beside me. He is within me. He leads me toward a life of true freedom and love.
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