How Taking Offense Can Trap Us, and How to Break Free
Have you ever felt hurt by someone’s words or actions? Maybe a close friend ignored you, a family member let you down, or a coworker criticized your work unfairly. These moments sting—and if we hold onto that pain, it can turn into something much bigger. This idea is at the heart of a book called The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. But don’t let the dramatic title scare you off; the message is actually pretty simple and practical. It’s about how taking offense is like falling into a trap, and how it can damage our lives more than we might realize.
What Does “The Bait of Satan” Mean?
Let’s break it down. The word “bait” makes us think of a trap set for an animal—like cheese in a mousetrap or a worm on a fishhook. The idea is that the cheese or worm looks good, but when the animal grabs it, they get caught. In this case, the “bait” is offense. When we hold onto anger, hurt, or resentment, it’s like we’ve bitten the bait. The trap snaps shut, and suddenly, we’re the ones who are stuck—sometimes for years.
The book suggests that Satan, or evil in a general sense, uses offense as bait to get us trapped in unhealthy thinking, damaged relationships, and spiritual isolation. This isn’t about blaming every problem on some evil force; it’s about noticing how being offended, and then refusing to let go, can mess up our happiness and peace of mind.
How Does Offense Work as a Trap?
At first, taking offense feels justified. If someone hurts us, it seems only right to protect ourselves, maybe keep our distance, or even hold a grudge. But here’s the twist: when we keep replaying the hurt in our minds, we’re only hurting ourselves. The other person may not even know we’re upset. Meanwhile, we’re stuck in anger, bitterness, or sadness. Over time, this can change the way we see the world, make us less trusting, and even ruin friendships and families.
Think about a time someone forgot your birthday. You might shrug it off at first, but if you keep thinking about it, the hurt grows. You start reading into their actions—“Maybe they don’t care about me,” or “They always do this.” Before long, you might stop calling them, or answer coldly when they reach out. The relationship suffers, all because of that one forgotten birthday. That’s how offense becomes a trap.
Why Is It Called “The Bait of Satan”?
The author uses the word “Satan” not just to talk about a supernatural being, but to represent anything that wants to divide, destroy, or steal our peace and happiness. In many religious and philosophical traditions, holding onto offense is seen as poison for the soul. It stops us from connecting with others, and it steals our joy.
In simple terms, being offended is often the first step toward bigger problems: broken marriages, church splits, lost jobs, and even wars can start with someone taking offense and refusing to let go. The “bait” is so subtle that we barely realize we’ve taken it until it’s too late.
What Happens When We Stay Offended?
People who stay offended often become bitter, cynical, and isolated. They might find it hard to trust others, start expecting the worst, and pull away from friends or family. Physically, holding onto stress and anger can even affect our health—raising blood pressure, lowering our immune system, and making it hard to sleep or focus.
On a bigger scale, communities and workplaces can become divided, full of gossip and suspicion. Relationships that could have been saved are lost because no one wants to be the first to apologize or forgive. It’s like living in a self-built prison, where the walls are made out of grudges and hurt feelings.
How Can We Avoid the Trap?
So what’s the answer? The key is learning to let go of offense before it takes root. Here are some simple, practical steps anyone can follow:
- Recognize when you’re offended: Pay attention to your feelings. If you’re angry, hurt, or replaying a negative event over and over, that’s a sign you’ve taken the bait.
- Talk it out: Sometimes, speaking directly (but kindly) to the person who hurt you can clear up misunderstandings. Many offenses are accidental, and an honest conversation can make a world of difference.
- Choose forgiveness: Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was okay. It’s about deciding not to let it control you anymore. It’s setting yourself free from the trap.
- Don’t spread the offense: It’s tempting to tell others how you were wronged, but gossip only spreads hurt. Try to deal with the person directly if you can.
- Practice empathy: Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Maybe they were having a bad day, or didn’t mean to hurt you at all.
- Let time heal: Not every wound heals overnight, but with time and the choice to let go, most offenses lose their power.
Stories and Examples
Let’s use an example from everyday life. Imagine a co-worker gets promoted, and you feel overlooked. You could take offense, thinking, “They don’t appreciate me,” and start distancing yourself. But maybe your boss simply didn’t know you were interested in the position, or maybe your co-worker had experience you didn’t know about.
Now, picture two friends who have an argument. One feels misunderstood and stops replying to texts. The other assumes the friendship is over. Months pass, and the gap widens, all because neither wants to make the first move. If one of them forgave and reached out, the friendship could be saved.
These stories are everywhere—in families, schools, communities, and online. The internet, especially, is a breeding ground for offense. People argue over small things, and strangers hold grudges for years without ever meeting in person. Breaking free of the trap means choosing to forgive, to listen, and to move forward.
Forgiveness: Not Just for the Other Person
Forgiving someone isn’t just doing them a favor—it’s also a gift to yourself. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. Letting go lets you be at peace, even if the other person never says sorry or changes their behavior.
Many people find that forgiveness leads to better health, lower stress, and deeper relationships. It doesn’t mean you have to let people walk all over you, but it does mean refusing to let offense control your life.
What If I Can’t Forgive?
Forgiveness can be really hard, especially if the hurt is deep or keeps happening. It’s okay to admit it’s a struggle. Sometimes, talking to a trusted friend, mentor, spiritual leader, or counselor can help. The important thing is to keep trying. Even small steps count, and over time, most people find the weight lifts.
Conclusion: Living Offense-Free
The core message of The Bait of Satan is that offense is a trap we set for ourselves, but we also hold the key to get out. By letting go of past hurts, choosing forgiveness, and practicing empathy, we can break free of the bait and enjoy healthier, happier relationships. Next time you feel offended—pause, breathe, and remember that freedom is always within reach.
Minister A Francine Green
August 2025
afrancinegreen.com 