Some Honest Thoughts from a Minister’s Perspective
I was watching a program earlier today, and someone asked a question that really caught my attention: “Why do people try to get out of going to church?” As a minister, I found myself thinking about this deeply. The answers, I realized, are not always simple—and they’re definitely not all the same.
First, let’s clear up a common misunderstanding. According to the Bible, the church is not just a building you go to or a set of rituals you repeat every week. The church is actually the people—the community of those who believe in Jesus Christ. When Jesus said, “I will build my church,” he wasn’t talking about bricks and mortar, but about lives joined in faith.
So, why do people sometimes shy away from attending church? Here’s what I’ve seen and heard, put simply:
Disconnection and Disappointment
· Feeling Distant from God: Sometimes, people feel like their spiritual needs aren’t really being met at church. They might feel disconnected from God, or just spiritually “dry.”
· Past Hurts and Disappointment: Many have experienced conflict, judgment, or felt unwelcome in church. These hurts can leave deep marks, making it hard to come back.
· Lack of Community: Some folks feel like outsiders when they step into a church. If it doesn’t feel like family, or people don’t seem welcoming, it’s hard to want to return.
· Frustration with Church Culture: Churches are made up of people, and people aren’t perfect. Sometimes, church life can seem shallow or fake, or folks might notice hypocrisy, which turns them off.
Other Practical and Personal Reasons
· Digital Alternatives: Today, you can find sermons, worship music, and even Christian communities online. For some, this replaces the need to physically attend church.
· Worry About Judgment: Some are afraid of being judged for how they look, dress, or live. No one likes feeling scrutinized.
· Unfulfilling Services: If the sermons or music don’t connect with someone, or if the style of worship doesn’t resonate, it can be easy to drift away.
· Burnout: Some people have been very involved in church in the past and ended up feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, so they pull back.
· Lack of Personal Connection: It’s hard to come week after week if you don’t feel a real connection with the pastor or church leaders.
Final Thoughts
As a minister, these reasons challenge me to reflect on how we “do” church or worship service. The heart of church is people loving God and each other. If someone stops coming, it’s not always about laziness or lack of faith—sometimes it’s pain, sometimes it’s searching for something deeper, and sometimes life just gets in the way.
Maybe the real question isn’t just “why don’t people go to church?”—but “how can we make church a place people want to be?” A place where people feel included, loved, and able to connect—both with God and with others.
If you’ve felt any of these things, you’re not alone. And if you’re part of a church, maybe it’s time to reach out to someone who hasn’t been around lately—not to judge, but to listen and care.
Minister A Francine Green
August 2025
afrancinegreen.com 