Letting Go of Grudges: Biblical Wisdom for a Warm Heart

Understanding Two Powerful Biblical Ideas in Everyday Language

Have you ever felt like it’s impossible to let go of grudges or old hurts? Maybe you’ve replayed an argument in your mind, or you struggle to forgive someone who did you wrong. The Bible has some strong words about this kind of attitude. Let’s break down two important phrases—“to harbor bitterness in your heart” and “hearts waxed cold”—and see what they mean for our lives.

What Does “Harboring Bitterness” Mean?

Holding onto negativity: When someone harbors bitterness, it means they’re keeping negative feelings alive inside. Instead of moving on or finding peace, they hold onto anger, resentment, or the sense of having been wronged.

Resentment and grudges: This isn’t just a passing bad mood. It’s nursing old wounds, letting them grow, and sometimes even letting those feelings shape how you act or think. It’s like refusing to throw out spoiled food—it’s just going to keep stinking up the place.

Emotional burden: Carrying bitterness is tiring. It’s heavy, just like dragging around a backpack full of rocks. Over time, it can make you feel worse, causing stress, sadness, and even harming relationships.

Biblical Background

The book of James in the Bible talks about bitterness as something dangerous, especially when mixed with selfish ambition and envy. In James 3:14-16, it says if you keep bitter feelings and selfish desires in your heart, you’ll end up with chaos and all sorts of bad behavior. It warns that this attitude doesn’t come from God—it’s unhelpful and leads to trouble.

True wisdom, according to the Bible, is gentle, peaceful, and kind. If you find yourself locked in bitterness or always competing with others, it’s a sign that you’re on the wrong track. The Bible’s advice? Seek wisdom that brings peace, not one that stirs up conflict.

Why Is Bitterness a Problem?

·      It causes disorder: Life gets messy when people hold grudges, and relationships suffer from ongoing drama and conflict.

·      It ruins peace: Bitterness keeps you from feeling calm or truly happy.

·      It can poison your relationships: Friends, family, and coworkers may all feel the effects when someone refuses to forgive or move forward.

What Does “Hearts Waxed Cold” Mean?

This phrase sounds poetic, but it’s simple: it means people’s love and compassion have faded. The term comes from Matthew 24:12, where Jesus says that as lawlessness and wrongdoing spread, many people’s love will “wax cold”—in other words, their hearts will grow cold.

Fading Love: When your heart “waxes cold,” you lose the warmth that comes from caring deeply for others, or from feeling connected to God. You might stop noticing people’s needs, or just not care as much as you used to.

Spiritual Coldness: It’s not just about feelings toward other people. A “cold heart” in the Bible means you’ve lost spiritual energy—you might go through the motions of prayer or worship, but it doesn’t mean much to you.

Selfishness and Apathy: As people’s hearts grow cold, they become more focused on themselves. Compassion and kindness take a backseat, and it’s easy to see others as obstacles instead of fellow human beings.

Lack of Spiritual Engagement: Signs include criticizing others, losing awe or excitement about faith, and not really caring about spiritual growth.

Why Does This Matter?

The Bible uses this image as a warning. When negativity and selfishness take over, love fades, and people become isolated and unfeeling. It’s a reminder to keep your heart “warm” by staying compassionate, engaged, and connected—both to God and to other people.

What Can We Learn From This?

Both “harboring bitterness” and “hearts waxed cold” are about what’s happening on the inside. The Bible teaches that holding onto negative feelings or letting your love fade can lead to a life that’s unhappy, chaotic, and disconnected.

So what can you do?

·      Let go of old hurts and forgive—it’s lighter and feels better.

·      Focus on kindness and compassion, even when the world feels tough.

·      Stay spiritually engaged: pray, learn, and connect with others who encourage you.

·      Don’t let selfishness and negativity take root. Guard your heart, and choose actions that bring peace and warmth, not coldness and conflict.

Ultimately, these biblical ideas encourage us to be honest about our feelings, seek wisdom that brings peace, and keep our hearts open and loving, no matter what’s happening around us. In a world that can sometimes feel cold or chaotic, this advice is as relevant as ever.

Minister A Francine Green

September 2025

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