A Simple Reflection on What Makes Family Relationships Feel Toxic
When we think about things being “toxic” in families, we often imagine loud arguments, harsh words, or long-held grudges. While these can certainly make family life difficult, there’s another layer that’s easier to overlook: how we see and react to what happens around us.
Sometimes, it’s not just what’s said or done that creates tension—it’s the way we interpret those actions and how we choose to respond. For example, if a family member forgets your birthday, one person might see it as an honest mistake, while another might feel hurt and believe they’re being ignored on purpose. That feeling of being wronged can build up, making things feel more toxic than they might actually be.
Our responses matter, too. If we react with anger or sarcasm instead of expressing how we feel calmly, it can turn a small issue into a bigger problem. This cycle—misunderstandings followed by harsh reactions—can make a family environment feel tense and unhealthy, even when no one meant any harm.
It’s important to remember that everyone brings their own experiences, stress, and hopes into family relationships. Taking a step back, trying to see things from another’s point of view, and choosing thoughtful responses can help break the cycle of negativity. Sometimes, healing a toxic environment starts by simply changing how we look at things and how we respond.
Minister A Francine Green
December 2025
afrancinegreen.com 